Cannibal Buffet
by A Wolf's Nightmare
Summary: Humphrey suspects that there is a cannibal loose in Jasper. Can he stop it?
1. BloodStains and Hybrids

"I can't believe that was you!" Kate said with a smile. Of course, she was talking about how he saved her from Solomon's wrath.

"It was nothing." Humphrey said shyly.

"You were a hero Humphrey!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Seriously, it was nothing. I just did it to save her because I love her."

"That's so sweet." Kate said as she nuzzled her mate. Aaron looked at them with a smile.

"Alright, enough with the sweet loving. How are we going to get me and Hutch's relationship back in track?"

Humphrey gave him a confused look. "What do you me 'We'?"

"I thought you two would help me."

"Why would…"

"We can help." Kate said.

Humphrey looked at her sadly.

"But Kate! I don't want to match up Aaron with Hutch. It's too much work."

"We are going to help. End of story."

Humphrey groaned as he heard that. He did so much in these last few months than he did his whole life.

"Can we just set him up with someone like Tanya Tickle-Tittes?"

"Humphrey, that's dirty."

"Well, I'm sorry. I'm not changing my vocabulary."

"I actually met a woman whose name was Nipples. Great girl. Too bad she drowned while we were on the Oregon Trail."

Kate and Humphrey gave him horrified looks. Aaron just shrugged and they kept on walking. As they were walking, Humphrey had shivers down his spine.

"Are you okay, Humphrey?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, just cold."

"It's summer. It's very hot." Aaron corrected.

"Well, I'm cold."

"How come you're cold?" He asked.

"I don't know. I just feel something."

"And when Humphrey feels something, you know its trouble." Aaron joked.

"Shut up. This is real. I think it's like how I felt something watching me through lights and we actually found it."

"What happened during that time we were gone?"

"I don't know. But, we made it for Winston's funeral." Then he looked over at Kate who looked sad.

"I miss my dad." She said solemnly.

"Oh, Kate, don't worry. It's okay." Humphrey comforted her.

"You know, I'm glad you're here to help me get through this time."

"And I'll always will. No matter what." He started to nuzzle her. Then they heard Aaron's voice.

"Shit on a stick, what happened here?" They both turned to see that on multiple scratch marks on some trees and marks on the floor. There were also blood-stains on some bushes, trees, and puddles of it on the floor.

"What is this?" Humphrey asked.

"This is so freaky." Aaron said in awe.

"You can say that again." Kate said, also in awe.

"This is so freaky."

"I didn't mean literally."

"I like literal."

"Not now." Humphrey said as he looked around the forest.

"This is no human or animal."

"It's probably an animal." Aaron said.

"Or a hybrid." Kate said fearfully.

"Well, we have to warn the others. Can't let this thing harm us." And with that, they left.


	2. Finding Love

The trio came up to Eve's den who was talking to Hutch.

"Now, what you do is the next time you see him, kiss him." Eve told Hutch. "That's going to get him back."

"Eve! Eve!" Humphrey exclaimed. Eve turned to see him with Kate and Aaron running in the den.

"Oh, Humphrey. How's life treating you?" Eve asked.

"Great. We need help." Hutch then noticed Aaron standing behind them. He quickly went up to him and kissed him. The others looked in awe.

"Um… what's he doing?" Kate asked.

"Finding their love." Eve said as Hutch broke the kiss. Aaron looked at him with a smile.

"Wow."

"I knew that would work." Eve said confidently.

"Was that great?" Hutch asked.

"It's so great that I actually want to show you something back in my den. It's a penis- I mean, surprise!" Aaron then blushed embarrassedly. The two then left.

"So, what's the problem?" Eve asked.

"I think there's some sort of cannibalistic creature in the woods." Humphrey replied.

"Humphrey, we don't know if it's a cannibal." Kate said.

"Kate, I'm not wrong about this. I'm pretty sure it's some sort of mutant cannibal animal. Hey, that rhymes."

"What are you two talking about?" Eve asked.

"Come with us." Then they left.

But in Jasper Park, the creature Humphrey talked about is real and about to take its next victim. It crept along the bushes as it saw a wolf strolling past it. It leapt out and slashed she saw the wolf's throat with its long scissor-like fingers. The wolf tried to scream but couldn't. It finally died and the creature started to it the wolf's carcass.

"Whoa!" Eve said as she saw what the trio saw earlier.

"Right, right! We're not going crazy." Humphrey said with a strain.

"This is horrible. Maybe this is what caused those nightmares." Eve said. Humphrey's eyes widened.

"What did you say?" He asked.

"I think that this creature or whatever is causing nightmares to some wolves. One refused to leave his den. The other killed himself."

"Why didn't you tell us that?" Kate asked.

"I didn't know where you guys were."

"We were taking care of business and see how my immortality affects others."

"You're what?"

"Never mind. We have to find this mutant."

"We don't know if it is a mutant creature yet." Kate said. "It could be someone trying to scare us."

"Scare us so much to kill ourselves like that unnamed wolf did?"

"His name was Tom." Eve corrected.

"No time for names!" Humphrey exclaimed. "Blonde and Crazy, let's talk to Big Red and Science Boy."

Kate and Eve gave him confused looks as Humphrey sighed.

"Blonde, Kate, and Crazy, Eve, let's talk to Big Red, Garth and Science Boy, Aaron."

"Oh." Kate said.

"Did he call me crazy?" Eve asked as they left. But they didn't know what they would expect when they get there. But back at Aaron's den, he and Hutch were in the love zone.

"This is great. We're back and better than ever." Hutch said as he gazed into Aaron's eyes.

"Yeah, I love this. Just like I love you."

"Oh, that's sweet. I love you, too. You wanted to show me something that was a surprise?"

"Oh, yes." Aaron said nervously.

'Should I show him? What will he say?' Aaron thought.

"So, what's it?" Hutch asked with a smile.

"Well, close your eyes." Hutch obeyed.

Aaron took Hutch's paw and placed it on his own wolfhood. Hutch's eyes widened, but then he understood what he was getting at. Hutch stroked Aaron's wolfhood as they began.


	3. Thingamajig

"Come on! Let's go!" Kate exclaimed at Humphrey. Humphrey was gasping for air for half of the trip.

"We've been running through the forest for a while. It was hell just to get to Eve."

"Don't worry. We're here." Eve told him as they went into Garth's den.

"Hey, guys!" Lilly greeted.

"What's up?" Garth asked.

"Oh, nothing much. Just cannibalistic mutant animal beast/man/bear/pig thing-a-ma-jig is after us!"

"What?" Garth asked. "You have to calm down. I know that wolf committed suicide because of his nightmares, but there is no reason to freak out."

"Who are you to say that?" Humphrey asked.

"Not the time Humphrey." Kate said. "We need your help Garth."

"What do I have to do? Considering the fact that this coyote is right about this creature thing."

"He is. And he's not a coyote." Kate said frustrated.

"Yeah. So, round up some alphas and look out for any sort of beast. Do you think you can handle that, Mr. Chief Jingly-tittes?"

"Damn it! Don't call me that!" Garth shouted.

"Garth, honey, control your temper." Lilly said calmly. Garth then sighed and agreed.

"Great. Now we need Aaron."

"Oh, I don't think you should mess with them just yet." Eve said.

"What? We need him."

"Well, if I know Aaron, and unfortunately I do, he's with Hutch now doing something unspeakable."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, before the packs united, Winston and I would go over to the eastern pack talk to some of the wolves." She explained.

"Okay, great story so far, but we need Aaron."

"What are we going to use him for?" Kate asked.

"Well, he has inventions and he's a scientist. What can't he do?"

"He can't be discrete." Eve said.

"He can't stop being sarcastic." Kate said.

"He can't stop making inventions that almost kill us." Garth said.

"He can't stop calling me sexy." Lilly said.

"He called you sexy?" Garth asked.

"Yeah. At first it was cute, but now it's annoying."

"Well, let's go to him now." Humphrey said. "What's the worse he can do?"

"Oh! Yes! Hutch!" Aaron exclaimed as he was slamming his wolfhood into Hutch's tailhole.

"Yes, Aaron! You're so big!" Hutch said happily.

"Come on! He's in here and… Oh God!" Humphrey said as he put his paw over his eyes and looked away.

"What is it Humphrey?" Kate asked.

"Eve, you're right. He's doing unspeakable things."

"Told you."

"Humphrey!" Aaron shouted from the den. "We have room for more!" He said as he was panting.

"No, no. And don't ask again. We should come back."

"That's a great idea! I should _come_ back!" Aaron said.

"And then you should _come_ front." Hutch suggested as he was panting.

"Disgusting!" Kate said as she left with Humphrey and Eve. But little did they know what surprise the creature has in store for Humphrey.


	4. Scared for life

Humphrey, Kate, Lilly, and Eve stood outside Aaron's den talking to Garth.

"Okay, so you got the alphas rounded up and patrolling?" Eve asked.

"Yep. And they actually found a wolf dead and its carcass eaten." Kate and Lilly gasped.

"That's horrible. Well, I have faith that…" The gang then heard two moans of pleasure from Aaron's den.

"What was that?" Garth asked.

"Don't ask." Humphrey said. A few minutes later, Aaron and Hutch came out of the den satisfied.

"That was awesome." Aaron said.

"Okay, stop being disgusting and go find something that we can kill the creature." With that, Aaron went back inside the den and Hutch left back to his den.

"Why would you want to kill it?" Kate asked. "Can't we capture it and send it to the rangers?"

"No. Too risky. We have to stop it now."

"Since when do you know that something like this is too risky?" Garth asked. "If I know you, you take risks no matter what."

"Well, I guess this great brain power helps me be even braver."

"Your brain power sucks. And I don't believe that you are really immortal."

"Oh, one day, I'll show you. Then you shall see that Death needs more minions."

"What?" Garth asked.

"What?" Then Aaron went next to them and placed a box next to them.

"Aaron, what's this?" Kate asked.

"It's a box of stuff that can help us." He replied.

"You just have that stuff lying around?" Eve asked.

"Yep."

"Where do you get this stuff?" Garth asked. "I bet your den is filled to the bitch with scrotum-tickling accessories."

"Garth!" Lilly exclaimed at him.

"No, Lilly. It's true. I actually have scrotum-tickling accessories."

"Really?" Hutch asked. "I would like to try that out."

"Oh, naughty, aren't we?"

"Okay, perverts. We have a park to save." Humphrey interrupted.

"Right, right." Aaron said as he took out some items from the box.

The creature walked through Jasper looking for another victim to feast on. It went through bushes and behind trees so it wouldn't be detected. It then spotted a group of wolves.

"And this is called a nutcracker." Aaron said.

"How is that going to help us?" Eve asked.

"It's not. I wanted to give this to you as a gift." He then handed Eve the nutcracker.

"Oh, how nice." Eve said with a smile.

"I'm glad you like it." The group then heard a growl.

"What was that?"

"I must be hungry after that nice sex." Aaron said.

"Disgusting, dirty, scarred for life." Humphrey said. Then from the bushes, the creature emerged.


	5. Cannibal Buffet

"Holy crap! What's that?" Garth yelled as they turned to see the creature.

"Probably the Cat in the Hat." Aaron said.

"Enough chat!" Humphrey yelled.

"Fat!" Aaron yelled. Everyone looked at him. "What? We're done?" He asked. They turned their attention back to the hideous creature.

The creature looked almost human. It had the body for it but it hunched over and stood in a crouched position. But he was naked and his face was black as night with no real facial features except for to white circles where its eyes should be.

In his right hand, it resembled a rake. It was embedded into its skin with three razor claws. It charged at the gang with full force.

"Holy…" Humphrey started but was then was attacked. The gang didn't realize this because they all ran away.

"Is it following us?!" Kate exclaimed.

"No. But keep running!" Aaron said.

"Why?!" Garth asked.

"It's fun!" The gang stopped in their tracks. They all panted heavily.

"If this is going to be a daily thing, then I wouldn't want to hang out with you guys." Eve said.

"Understood." Lilly said.

"But you must admit, without us, this place would be in hell." Aaron said.

"Well, I'll give you guys that." Eve said. Kate then looked around worriedly.

"Where's Humphrey?" The rest looked around. Then they heard screams from where they where.

"Oh crap. We killed Humphrey." Aaron said.

"We killed Humphrey?" Garth asked.

"Yep. We're bastards. Let's go!" They then ran back to Aaron's den where they saw the creature slashing Humphrey's face and stomach. It bit down onto Humphrey's head and he screamed in pain.

"Oh, God!" Kate exclaimed. The creature looked back and saw them. He stopped and charged at them only to be smacked by Garth. Garth then slashed at the creature while Kate ran over to Humphrey.

"Oh, God! Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Humphrey said weakly as he coughed out a little blood. "I'll be fine."

"I could use some help!" Garth yelled. Aaron then went over and held the creature down while Garth prepared to slash it. He stood over it as the monster looked at him in the eyes. It whispered in an echoing voice.

"Death needs more of your kind for his army." Garth looked at it in horror.

"Well, go use Hell as a buffet, you cannibal!" He then slashed it until it fell down dead.

"Oh God! You need medical help." Eve said to Humphrey as she walked over to him.

"Where am I going to get medical help?" He asked weakly.

"Ahem." Aaron said. "I am a scientist. I think I can qualify for a doctor."

"Okay, get him in your den. And don't make a mess!" Kate told him.

"Oh, come on! I don't make a mess."

"Yes you do."

"…Oh, you're right." He then lifted Humphrey over his shoulder and carried him into his den. Not knowing what lies on in the forest. Something is about to cook up for a certain white omega.


End file.
